fragment

Pain is the prerequisite for ink on the page
These nights
Are killing my soul
The night is to be devoured, not to swallow you whole
Spat up in the morning like the pellet of an owl
Ive been caught in a storm, taking me from coast to coast
Like a half rotten leaf, so drenched and worn
Soft, yellow, and malleable
Gains and losses, perpetually without home
So much to be grateful for
So much to throw myself overboard for
Emeralds buried under a world awash

So fuck it,

Let the demons out.
Put your darkest lipstick on
Wear low and muted, shadowy brows
With a luscious pout
Tight black everything
Cascade of dark tresses framing your face like a veil
Leather heels gnawing at your raw Achilles
To the point you can hear the tendons gearing
But push anyway, hush your pain
Grind your way in
Like sandpaper on thirsty knuckles 
Dance with your shadow
Let go of the know

Feel your skin get hot as you cast that sultry glance
Under a thick and elusive black wide brimmed hat
Chewed lips, heads turned, mumbled words,
That same look back
And you imagine it
The terrain of muscle formations,
Dimples and shadows on pigmented skin variations
Your fingers tracing over the landscape of hills and valleys
That can roll and contract
To course through you
Beads of sweat collect
Between your heated breasts
On the edge of the cup, hard to hold now that its wet

3,5,7,8,
To fermented herbs I succumb, to numb the brain
Smoke streams sucked right up through the open vein
Rust soaking through peeling walls like dry blood stains
Eventually dripping on the track of the deafening train
So alive and so dead is this quickening pace
My heart is so brittle and yet soaked in this drink
Like hard shards of rain
Perception rearranged
Cells choking in disdain
Almost ready
To play, this game
Except - I dont want these strangers.
I want the one thing I can't attain
Fixated and deranged